vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
