oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
