he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
