I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
