Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
