White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
