That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
