Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
