What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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