It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
he just fucked me for my cheese..
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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