my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
