Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
