...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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