We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
