I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
