No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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