I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
