i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
