So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
