told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
