Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
