if you like me you must not know who I am
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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