Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
