i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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