I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
