omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
