Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
