I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
