No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
