My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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