that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
