Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
