matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Michael Bay diarrhea
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
pray to the hookup gods
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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