Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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