It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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