I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
