I just made out with a guy for $7.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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