She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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