She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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