ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
that may or may not have been my penis.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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