this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
