Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
