Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
