Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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