recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
