We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
