I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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