What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
