Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Randomize
