I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
