the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
