guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
