JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
